


Thorin's Moving Mountain

by BringerOfAshes



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: And Thranduil, And in which Fili and Kili are adorable, Expect laughter and tears all in the same story, Howl's Moving Castle AU, I make no promises, Legolas is in this bwahahaha, M/M, May possibly add a smut chapter near the end, SMAUG IS CALCIFER, Thorin is a badass, Where Bilbo gets Old, party king of Mirkwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2017-12-26 17:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BringerOfAshes/pseuds/BringerOfAshes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Baggins lives a quiet life. He runs a small pawn-shop, and often visits his cousin Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. But when he is saved by a mysterious handsome dwarf, his whole world is suddenly turned upside down when the Wizard of the Waste casts a curse upon him. Now Bilbo is off on an adventure to break his curse, and try to help Thorin with his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Curse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ewebean](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ewebean).
  * Inspired by [Thorin's Moving Castle](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/27539) by Ewebean. 



> Hello, dear readers! I am intensely excited to be writing this. This story was inspired by Ewebean's lovely art on tumblr, and when I saw it, I just HAD to write it! Please go check out her art, because it truly is unique. Without her this wouldn't be written.

 

 

Bilbo sighed and locked the doors behind him to his pawn shop, dusting off his jacket and making sure all of his brass buttons to his coat were fastened. He would be making quite the hike. His cousin Lobelia had demanded that he come see her this afternoon for tea, for she wanted to discuss Bilbo’s future plans for Bag-End.  
  
She was constantly arguing with him, saying that if Bilbo was never going to marry, he might as well give the rights to Bag-End to her. But Bilbo refused. It was the last thing he had of his parents, and he’d give up his life before seeing his poor hobbit-hole be taken by that dreadful woman.  
  
The Shire was literally buzzing with news. Apparently it was due to something about a war. Something about an Elvish Prince going missing or some sort, and the elven king blaming dwarves for his capture. It was all a load of rubbish to Bilbo. But he had seen a few dwarves here in the Shire asking for food or ponies.  
  
“Did you hear?” A young hobbit girl asked. “They say the dwarf Thorin is out on the prowl!”  
  
“You know what that means... no staying out past dark! They say that Thorin resides in a flying mountain above the clouds, and will occasionally come down and eat the hearts of those he catches!” Another whispered not to quietly.       
  
The girls all giggled and ran away, and Bilbo merely shook his head. Such stories that spread about these days.  
  
Bilbo frowned and pulled out his pocket-watch. Oh dear. He was going to be late for tea! Lobelia would clock him upside the head if he was late. The bronzed-haired hobbit treaded quickly down the stone paths of the Shire, knowing it would take half an hour to get to her candy shop. Oh, why him?  
  
The marketplace was filled with hobbit lads and hobbit lasses. Most were buying food or selling a few fresh vegetables from their garden. But Bilbo would occasionally catch a few lads giving some flowers to beautiful young girls, their cheeks turning as red as roses. This would make Bilbo’s heart squeeze in a slight ache. No one had ever so much as cast Bilbo a glance when he had tried courting. But that was just his luck, he thought.  
  
But then something caught his eye. Two visitors whom he’d never seen before. They were big-folk, but no one had seemed to pay them any mind. They both stared at him, and Bilbo felt a bit of a cold chill up his spine. Without thought, he picked up his pace and took a turn that led off from the market and towards the wood. He would continue his journey to Lobelia’s when those two had finally wandered off. Bilbo kept walking, but could hear their quiet footsteps lingering on behind him. His heart started hammering in his chest. What did these strangers want from him exactly? He hobbit stopped in his tracks and took a deep breath.  
  
Turning around, he folded his arms around his chest and looked up at the two men. They froze for a second, but then continued until they were infront of the hobbit.  
  
“Why are you following me?” Bilbo asked, trying to keep the shakiness out of his voice.  
  
“We meant no alarm,” the first man said, pulling down the hood of his cloak. He had a thick mustache.  
  
“Yeah... we just wanted to have a small chat.” The other said, leaning down.  
  
Bilbo almost gaged. He smelled of smoke and alcohol.  
  
“About what?” He asked, his hands curling into fists at his sides.  
  
The man with the mustache knelt down aswell, bringing out a hand to let his finger gently brush against Bilbo’s cheek. “Nothing in particular... you’re quite the looker, you are."  
  
The hobbit’s eyes widened and he took a step back, but stumbled and fell. “Leave me alone,” he babbled.  
  
The men merely chuckled and began to move forward to descend upon Bilbo, but two large hands firmly grasped his shoulders and pulled him to his feet. He was pressed into something warm on his side, and an arm had wrapped itself firmly around him. Lips grazed his temple and a cloud of warm air gently blew over his bronze curls.  
  
“There you are, my treasure,” a deep voice rumbled. “I was wondering where you ran off too... You were beginning to make me worry.”  
  
Bilbo didn’t look up. He didn’t dare, in fear he would have a heart-attack.  
  
The two men scrambled to their feet, eyes wide. “Oi! We’re busy here!” The younger man snapped.  
  
“Are you really? It appeared to me you were just leaving...”  
  
The hand on his shoulder raised lazily, and he pointed his finger up. The men froze and straightened their postures. He flicked his finger again, and the men both bolted off into the trees.  
  
Bilbo blinked in confusion. What had just happened?  
  
“Do not mind them,” the voice grumbled. “Not all men are like that. It is the Elves who you cannot trust.”  
  
The hobbit looked up and held his breath for a moment. His rescuer was rather handsome dwarf. The first thing he noticed was his stunning blue eyes, so blue that he felt as if they were seeing straight in his soul. He had a thick mane of midnight colored hair with a full beard, and his cheekbones were sharp and defined; followed by a thin nose.  
  
Our Master Baggins opened his mouth to thank his savior, but no words came out. I must look like a fish out of water, Bilbo thought.  
  
“Where are you headed? I’ll be your escort this evening.”  
  
“I-I’m just headed to the candy shop,” Bilbo stammered.  
  
His savior slid his arm down to wrap lightly around Bilbo’s waist, pulling him firmly against him before dipping his head to breath into Bilbo’s ear. “Do not be alarmed, but I am being followed. Just act normal.”  
  
Bilbo said nothing and allowed himself to be dragged along by his mysterious savior. The two continued to make their way down the path, until Bilbo heard something behind him. Glancing over the strangers fur coat, he saw several jet-black wolves with red eyes. By Eru! They were going to be eaten alive!  
  
“It looks like your involved,” his savior snarled under his breath.  
  
More wolves jumped out onto the path ahead of them, and Bilbo pressed himself hard into the side of the dwarf. The raven-haired dwarf grumbled and turned on the closest path, dragging the small hobbit behind him. But this was a mistake. Because soon they were surrounded.  
  
“Hold onto me,” the dwarf breathed as he wrapped his arm hard around Bilbo’s waist, jumping into the air. The air left Bilbo’s lungs when he was suddenly shot up through the trees and high into the air. They were both floating several feet above the trees, and gentle breezes of air blew on Bilbo's face.  
  
“Now, straighten your legs and start walking.”  
  
Bilbo did as the raven-haired dwarf said and straightened his legs, matching his steps with the dwarfs. They both flew gently over the Shire, and everyone went about their business. No one even seemed to notice them, it was like they had turned invisible. The hobbit released a small gasp. The Shire looked utterly beautiful from above.  
  
“You are a natural,” the dwarf complimented. This made Bilbo blush, but he smiled happily.  
  
The two continued to float gently over the Shire, until Bilbo spotted the candy shop owned by his cousin and kindly as the dwarf to land them there. And as light as a feather, the dwarf gently lowered Bilbo to the ground while his savior continued to float in the air. His raven hair flowed gently behind him, and his royal blue clothes made his eyes shine even brighter.  
  
“I’ll be sure to draw them off. But wait awhile before going back outside, especially after dark.”  
  
“Alright,” Bilbo breathed, completely mesmerized by the stranger.  
  
“Goodbye, my treasure,” Thorin said, flying back up into the air.  
  
Bilbo ran forward a few feet and then stopped. Oh, he wanted to know his name! He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning to walk inside his cousins candy shop and face Lobelia’s wrath.  


* * *

  
  
“Why must you always get into trouble!” Lobelia said angrily, staring at Bilbo with a frown before taking a sip of her tea.  
  
“It wasn’t as if I _planned_ to be whisked away by a dwarf,” Bilbo countered.  
  
Lobelia tucked one of her many curls behind her ears, setting her tea-cup back down onto the table. “It sounds like it was Thorin... Really, Bilbo, you were lucky. Rumor has it that he eats the hearts of those he catches, since he lost his own long ago.”  
  
“But.. he was very kind to me. He rescued me from those two men... he _saved me_ , Lobelia.”  
  
“Of course he did!” Lobelia snorted. “He was trying to steal your heart.”  
  
Her cold expression softened just a bit. “You are very lucky, Bilbo. If it really was Thorin, he really would have hurt you.”  
  
“No he wouldn’t...”  
  
“But you never know! You need to be more careful. Even the Wizard of the Waste is on the prowl.. are you even _listening_ to be, Bilbo Baggins?!”  
  
Bilbo’s head shot up. He had been daydreaming about the recent events, and had hardly paid his cousin any attention. Lobelia’s temple was throbbing in annoyance.  
  
“Alright,” Bilbo said while getting to his feet. “I suppose I better get going before it gets dark. I just wanted to come make sure you were doing okay.”  
  
“Now, Bilbo,” Lobelia said quickly, jumping to her feet and rushing over to Bilbo. “If you ever get tired of Bag-End... you can always consider giving it to me. I could really restore that place to it’s proper glory.”  
  
Bilbo’s cheeks grew hot at that comment, but he kept his cool. “No, I think I will keep it with me. Bag-End was just so important to my mother and father, and I rather enjoy living there. It comforts me and reminds me of them. I don’t mind it at all. Good evening, cousin.”  
  
“Just remember me!” Lobelia called after Bilbo as he turned to walk down the path.  
  
It took Bilbo almost an hour to walk home, but the trek had been worth it. His pawn shop was only over the hill, so he never really had to travel far in the mornings. Walking past his front gate, he began raiding his pockets for his keys as he stopped in front of the large green door. But his keys were nowhere to be found, and he only had the keys to his pawn shop.  
  
“Where are those blasted keys,” he muttered to himself. And then it hit him. He had left his keys to Bag-End sitting on the counter to his pawn shop.  
  
Groaning, he turned to go back onto the path to his pawn shop. It took him only fifteen minutes to get to his shop, where he quickly unlocked the door and made his way inside. He turned on a light and made his way over the the counter, putting his keys into his pocket. He heard the door open and close behind he, and he turned.  
  
A rather fat man with amber colored hair stood inside his shop, looking around at the different items stored on the shelves. He might have been handsome when he was younger.  
  
“Oh. I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed. If you’d like, you may come back again tomorrow.”  
  
The man said nothing and simply continued to look aimlessly around the shop. “Such a tacky little pawn shop,” the man sighed, as if he was disappointed. Then his eyes landed on Bilbo. “But you by far are the tackiest thing here.”  
  
Bilbo’s cheeks grew hot and he curled his fists at his side. Holding his head high, he marched over to the door and opened it. “The door is over here, sir. Again, we are closed.”  
  
“Standing up to the Wizard of the Waste... How very bold.”  
  
The hobbit’s heart seemed to stop in his chest, and he mouthed the word’s in disbelief. When he turned around, two large black wolves with glowing red eyes growled at him; making him jump.  
  
Suddenly, the man lunged forward, and Bilbo felt as if he were covered in a layer of cold film.  
  
“The best part about that spell is that you can’t tell anyone about it,” the man chimed. “My regards to Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror.”  
  
And with that, he the man closed the door and left without a trace. Bilbo sat crouched to the floor, wondering just what exactly that crazy man had meant. In the confusion, he had dropped his keys. He looked around his shop once, then reached down to grasp his keys. Then froze. His hand.. his hands were spotted and wrinkled with age.  
  
Bilbo’s eyes went wide, and then his hands quickly shot up to his face. He could feel the evident wrinkles and the thinness of his hair. Oh no, Bilbo thought in dread.  
  
Quickly, Bilbo hobbled over to the nearest mirror. What he saw, though, shocked him. The man certainly looked like Bilbo... but it wasn’t. The face was old and wrinkled, with hair that was thinned and feathery white.  
  
“I.. Aah... That’s really me!” Bilbo shouted. The reflection followed his movements. He placed a hand over his heart and quickly ran back over to the door, grabbing the keys to Bag-End and then slowly locking up the shop. His joints ached and his vision seemed blurred, but he was making his way down the path just fine. When he reached Bag-End, he quickly made his way inside. He slipped off his shoes and made his way around Bag-End until he reached the bedroom.  
  
“It’s just a bad dream,” he kept muttering to himself. “It’s all a dream. Everything will be alright when you wake up.”


	2. The Fire Drake & The Halfling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo goes on his little adventure and makes new friends along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOSH! First off, thank you all SO MUCH who have given me kudos and bookmarked this! And your comments really did warm my heart and help me get this done. I am intensely sorry for not having this up sooner, but I have been SO busy lately. Band Competitions are intense, yo. (Shout-out to any flute players!) Now that competition season is done, I should be able to update more often and give more lengthy chapters. & to KazeChi, you offered to beta for me? I would love that. Please contact me by via Tumblr. And PLEASE IGNORE ANY GRAMMAR ERRORS FOR THEY WILL BE FIXED WITHIN 48 HOURS, THANK YOU! Please enjoy, and comment! :)

Bilbo woke the next morning with disappointment. His whole body was still very much riddled with age. Sighing heavily, Bilbo pulled the blankets up to his neck and breathed in deeply. Why did he always get caught up in these types of things? He would never know. He felt a bit colder too, as if all traces of his youth had decided to completely abandon him for good.  
  
He was resting soundly in bed when suddenly a large banging sounded down the hall.  
  
“Bilbo Baggins!” A harpy-like voice screeched.  
  
The hobbit winced. Lobelia. What on earth did she want?  
  
“I need to have a word with you!”  
  
With a great, heavy sigh he pulled himself out of bed, walking down the hall and standing in front of his door. He simply couldn’t let Lobelia see him like this!  
  
“I can’t come to the door! I’ve gotten a bad cold...and I don’t want you to catch it, so come back in a few days!”  
  
His voice sounded so frail.  
  
“You sound awful. Like some old man...fine! Go back to bed, but I expect to see you by the end of the week, Mr. Baggins!” he heard Lobelia snap. That was maybe her more ‘gentle’ tone of voice.  
  
Peace settled over Bilbo when he heard her stomp down his steps and through the gate, and a small sigh escaped his lips when he heard it swing shut with a click. But what was he going to do? He couldn’t keep hiding from Lobelia forever. And people would soon begin to wonder where on Middle-earth he was. Bilbo didn’t want to leave Bag End, but at this point it seemed he would have to give it up...unless...  
  
“Thorin!” Bilbo gasped.  
  
He could find the dwarf! The Wizard of the Waste had mentioned him, and he was for certain the dwarf he’d met had been Thorin. So, maybe Thorin would be able to fix the curse. But the only problem is, he didn’t know where to even start looking for him. He needed to find him and quickly.  
  
“That’s it then,” Bilbo sighed to himself. “It seems I’ll be going on an adventure.”  
  
Slowly, Bilbo hobbled back to his room and changed into more appropriate clothes for the long journey ahead. Then he pulled out a pack and started going around the house with things he thought he needed. A bedroll, extra clothes, food, maps, and a large canteen of water. Once he was sure he had everything a hobbit could possibly need, he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to actually do.  
  
That took him maybe less than ten minutes. He was a rather stubborn, determined-minded hobbit.  
  
Slinging his bag gently over his shoulders, he grabbed his keys and suddenly found himself standing in front of Bag End. In his heart, Bilbo didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay in the safety of his home. But his mind told him if he stayed, only bad things would happen. His mind won. Bilbo quickly unlocked the door and made his way out.  
  
The warm air gently ran through his now white hair, and his eyes widened a bit at the sight around him. Oddly enough, the sight of the Shire seemed oddly more beautiful. He didn’t exactly know why, but the sudden beauty of the home around him made his heart squeeze inside his chest a bit. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment and then pulled a hood up over his head so no one would see his face, and began to lock the door to his house.  
  
Bilbo slowly made his way down his steps and past the front gate. It was only when he was halfway down the path to the rest of the Shire did he turn around. Bag End looked like a picture. Sitting there on the hill with his freshly painted emerald green door, and a few flowers reaching up towards the sun in the grass. Oh, how he’d miss it so. No doubt Lobelia would have an utter fit when she realized he’d ran off. This made Bilbo chuckle.  
  
Thankfully, Bilbo had succeed to make his way down the path and into town without being noticed much. A few hobbits he had known very well didn’t cast him a second glance. But there were those select few that would give him a bit of a suspicious look. At least no one had dared to stop and try to start a conversation. Praise Eru.  
  
When Master Baggins finally reached the edge of the forest, a small shiver ran up his spine. This was where the wolves had chased him. But maybe they were gone by now. Besides, they wouldn’t want to eat a frail old hobbit. Bilbo doubted he would taste very good in this age anyway.  
  
After wandering around for almost an hour, Bilbo’s legs began to drag heavily against the ground and his feet felt sore. Did all hobbits in their elderly years feel this weak and flimsy? Bilbo made a note to himself that if he ever broke his curse, he would always be willing to help every elderly person he saw.  
  
Bilbo sat down on a small boulder on the side of the road and tossed his pack down beside him carelessly, releasing a heavy sigh as he straightened his coat. Pulling out a small bundle of food, he began having a mid-afternoon snack. The bread was soft and easy on his teeth while the cheese brought a splash of flavor on his tongue.  
  
He would never make it out of the Shire at this rate! Thorin had probably already traveled several miles away. But he would at least continue to try and reach him, even if he was away at a great distance.  
  
Then something caught his eye. A large stick was poking out of a bush. Bilbo blinked.  
  
“That would make an excellent cane!”  
  
The hobbit crawled to his feet and hobbled over to the bush. Grabbing hold of the end, he began pulling with all his might. But the blasted thing refused to budge! He stopped for a moment as a bit of pain shot through his spine while his bones creaked. Mustering up his strength, he forced himself down onto the branch.  
  
“Oh, come on!” Bilbo grunted.  
  
Suddenly, the stick pulled out. But it wasn’t just a stick. It was a scarecrow, to be exact. And for the strangest reason it was standing straight up! Its head was made of a corn cob, with a silly and sloppy face sketched onto it. A light green tunic had been thrown onto it carelessly with a dirty white shirt underneath; gloves stuffed with straw dangled at the ends of the poles to represent hands. The thing that puzzled Bilbo the most though, had to be the fact that it had two arrows sticking in the fabric as if it had once been used for target practice.  
  
“Goodness gracious! By Eru, how are you standing up straight on your own like that?” Bilbo gasped in awe, staring up at the scarecrow with a bit of wonder in his hazel colored eyes.  
  
The hobbit swore that the scarecrow’s smile grew wider.  
  
“Your head's a corn cob. I never liked corn. Even as a fauntling! It had a nasty taste in my mouth. It’s a shame, what a nice cane you would have made... well, at least you aren’t sitting upside-down now. So long, Corn-Head.”  
  
After making his way back over to his things, he picked everything back up and continued about his way onto the path. Birds sang their song, while a gentle breeze whistled through the branches of the trees. But eventually Bilbo’s back began to creak and grow sore with protest, and he was yet again forced to sit down.  
  
Bilbo looked down the path and huffed with distaste. “I’ve hardly moved...I’m so slow in my old age! Thorin is probably long gone by now.”  
  
The thought of dying early suddenly crossed his mind. He had a whole other half of his life to live out! And he wasn’t so keen on losing it because of the meddling of a wizard! A slight thumping noise sounded off down the path, and Bilbo lifted his head to look back in confusion. He hadn’t heard or seen anyone earlier on, so he doubted it was a person. But what if it was one of the wolves? Had they found him at last?  
  
You can imagine the look of surprise that graced Bilbo’s face when he saw it was indeed not a person, but the very scarecrow that he had freed from the bushes. It was bouncing merrily along the path as if this was completely natural and that all scarecrows did this. To Bilbo’s knowledge, scarecrows didn’t move, let alone bounce. The thing was probably cursed and now it was following him around. Like he needed more curses and magic in his life!  
  
“Please, go away!” Bilbo pleaded. “I have had enough of magic and curses, and you seem to be covered with magic, so leave me be! I am happy I could help you, but let that be the end to our little meeting!”  
  
The scarecrow stopped for a moment as if pondering about the hobbit's words. Bilbo thought the thing was about to turn around and leave him alone, but the thing just hopped right on over beside him and did a slight twirl in the air as it did so. The old hobbit sighed and got to his feet with his hands on his hips, staring up at the corn-headed scarecrow in annoyance.  
  
“You aren’t going to leave me alone, are you?”  
  
Its smile seemed to mock him.  
  
“Well, fine then! But if you cause me any trouble whatsoever, I will snap you in half and use you as a cane. If you wish to help me then go off somewhere and find me a place to rest for tonight; or better yet, find me Thorin and this mountain I have heard about! Now that would make everything much better.”  
  
Corn-Head didn’t seem to mind his threat at all, because he jumped up and hopped down the path while Bilbo picked up his things and started his trek yet again.  
  
As time went on, the sky eventually turned a light shade of indigo with the occasional cloud, and the wind was growing cooler with each passing minute. He had passed a few cabins every now and then, but still carried on, hoping that just maybe he would catch sight of Thorin or his mountain. His hope was fading about ever returning to his proper age, and dying early due to becoming an old man.  
  
“I’m so fat..and yet the wind blows right through me...I hope there is a small house up ahead,” Bilbo huffed.  
  
Suddenly, Corn-Head was on the path in front of him and bouncing up and down excitedly. The hobbit merely blinked in confusion. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Corn-Head only twirled in the air, and his arrows whizzed around him. Bilbo only blinked as a dark shape suddenly swallowed up the sky, and Bilbo’s head shot up to see complete and utter darkness. A deep rumble echoed in his ears and then the old hobbit realized what he was looking at. Thorin’s mountain. He’d found it! Or, actually Corn-Head found it.  
  
“THIS is his mountain?!” Bilbo shouted, taking a few steps back.  
  
The giant formation was floating in the air by several hundred feet, but it could easily hide in the sky by a few clouds. The question that raked through his mind, though, was how he was going to get up there. This did prove to be a very big problem for the elder hobbit. At the moment the mountain was just hovering in place, but Bilbo had a feeling that it would fly away at any second.  
  
“How am I supposed to get up there? It is not as if I can fly--OH DEAR!”  
  
Bilbo was suddenly floating several feet into the air, and climbing higher each second. He clung to his things desperately and squeezed his eyes shut so he would not see the ground that was so far below him. It seemed like forever he was flying through the clouds, but it was actually merely moments before he was finally set down gently onto the steps of the mountain.  
  
Giant stone and gold doors stood before him, along with two giant statues of dwarven warriors who seemed to glare down at him angrily. Bilbo gripped his pack tightly in his shaking hands before finally deciding to take small steps towards the gleaming doors. When he was finally standing in front of them he stopped. Did he really want to go in? What if Thorin did try to eat his heart?  
  
Oh, cut it out, Bilbo Baggins! he thought to himself. You did not come this far only to turn around with your tail between your legs now.  
  
Straightening his back, Bilbo knocked on the door. Within seconds the golden doors flung wide open for him in welcome, and the old hobbit merely blinked in surprised. He tossed his bag across his back and hobbled forward. Master Baggins was not prepared for what he saw inside. Inside the mountain was huge. The ceiling never seemed to end, and the stone floor glimmered in a rich emerald color with a few hints of gold carved into it. In a simple word: beautiful.  
  
He continued to walk through the corridors while admiring the unique designs of the dwarves, until something caught his eye. There was a cut-off to another room, and in there he saw something glittering. Curious, Bilbo set down his pack and walked over to the door entryway. Bilbo might as well have died at the sight before him. Miniature mountains of gold coins, cups, plates, anything you could imagine was piled high. Along with rubies, diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires. Such beautiful glittering items made something in his chest twist and turn, and Bilbo wanted nothing more than to simply dip his hands into the glittering gold coins and just admire them for hours on end.  
  
Old hands gently reached out to pick up a small gauntlet that was decorated with small rubies. On it, small vines appeared to be weaving around it. Truly the person who made this was a very skilled craftsman. Bilbo’s old heart nearly stopped when a deep, rumbling noise echoed throughout the caverns. He didn’t move a muscle.  
  
“Well, thief...where are you?” A deep, thunderous voice growled.  
  
Bilbo wiped his head around to see a large crimson head poking around the corner. And then he realized, that it was a dragon. A dragon of all creatures! What was a dragon bloody doing in here?!?  
  
The frail little hobbit merely stood in his place while staring at the large beast in horror. The dragon’s forked tongue snaked between its jaws like a snake, and then its large eyes settled on the shaking creature below him. Its nostrils flared and it leaned its head down further until his snout was just a few feet away.  
  
“How did you get in here?” The dragon growled. His voice seemed to radiate throughout the room like thunder, and Bilbo’s heart was hammering painfully against his chest.  
  
“WELL?”  
  
“I-I, forgive me! I was merely whisked up by the wind, and came inside! Please don’t eat me, I doubt that I would taste very good to you.”  
  
The dragon chuckled and the room shook from the vibrations, and Bilbo staggered a bit. The dragon’s body came around the corner and he settled himself on the stone floor, his talons kneading against the floor like an overly large cat. He was a fearsome sight to behold indeed. His scales were the color of a deep crimson, with black spikes making their way down the length of his body. A few gold coins had gotten stuck between his scales, which seemed to make his underbelly look as if he were gold beneath. The dragon’s eyes were like a rich bronze color, with flecks of amber and gold with the occasional hint of green. It was very light, but you could tell it was there. Though the thing that caught Bilbo’s attention the most was the object that adorned his chest.  
  
A small, glowing stone. The universe seemed to be held by that one stone. It took all light that fell upon it and changed it into ten thousand sparks of white radiance shot with glints of the rainbow.  
  
Grumbling loudly and pressing his snout to Bilbo, the dragon began sniffing him in interest. “Mmmm...you do not smell of dwarf...and you aren’t as hairy as the others. So what are you then? A halfling?”  
  
“Y-Yes. I’m Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire,” Bilbo stated boldly, mustering up his courage.  
  
The dragon reared back his head ad showed his sharp, jagged teeth. Maybe that’s his twisted way of giving a smile, Bilbo thought hysterically.  
  
“I am Smaug, guardian of Erebor.” To be flashy, he shot a small stream of fire from his snout.  
  
“Guardian?”  
  
“Indeed. I have been in this mountain for over quite some time,” He mused, leaning his head down once more to look at Bilbo more closely. “Mmmm...I see. You will have a difficult time removing that particular curse indeed, halfing.”  
  
Bilbo blinked. Was he able to tell that he was cursed?  
  
“What? How do you know I am cursed?”  
  
“Although I am a dragon, I do have some magical qualities to me...and I can see when someone is cursed. You are blessed that you are still alive from that one...you could have been made so old you can hardly stand or walk. Very blessed indeed.” Smaug grumbled.  
  
The old hobbit's hazel eyes widened in hope. “You have magic? Then you might be able to help me break my curse!”  
  
“Perhaps...if you can break the spell that is on me, maybe I will break the curse that is on you.”  
  
The old hobbit frowned and placed his hands on his hips. “But I have heard stories of dragons being tricky... How do I know that I can trust you? Do you promise to help me if I somehow am able to help you?”  
  
“I do not know, halfling. Dragons do not make promises.”  
  
Bilbo shrugged, becoming more comfortable around Smaug now that he realized the giant lizard wasn’t going to eat him. “Then you can find someone else.”  
  
Smaug growled softly, and his tail twitched in annoyance. “You do not know what it is like! That spell keeps me chained here in his mountain like a prisoner, and Thorin treats me as if I am his slave! You haven’t a clue as to how much it enrages me! I must keep Erebor afloat, keep the water hot, the rooms warm...”  
  
The white-haired halfling yawned and laid against a small mound of gold, feeling his eyes grow heavy and his muscles go lax. “Oh... that sounds hard...” Bilbo murmured.  
  
Smaug continued to rant on his misfortunes before finally noticing that the poor old hobbit had fallen asleep against a mound of gold. The crimson dragon huffed and pulled the hobbit into his taloned paw, cradling him gently.  
  
“You will have an important role in our lives indeed, Bilbo Baggins,” Smaug mused softly.


	3. Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and the little shits. And Thorin. SURPRISE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay... Y'know... DoS... LIFE. Enjoy. Kazechi, you're beautiful for fixing the chapter<3

It’s very warm here, Bilbo thought as he pulled his legs just a bit closer to his chest. Throughout the night he had felt like a warm blanket had wrapped itself over him. And whatever he was laying on was extraordinarily comfortable. Sleepily, he brought up his hands to his eyes and rubbed them before slowly sitting up. Despite the protests his body was making, his body wasn’t nearly as sore as it had been the day before. Peeking open his hazel eyes, he observed that he was not where he had fallen asleep originally. He remembered he had lounged against a pile of gold while Smaug had went about raving on about how Thorin would constantly mistreat him.  
  
But instead of finding himself on the stone floor, he found himself instead being cradled almost like a small child in the sleeping dragon’s paw. Smaug had the small hobbit almost against his chest, and Bilbo reached his hand out timidly to touch the gleaming crimson scales. No wonder Bilbo had been so warm. Smaug simply seemed to radiate pure heat. The dragon seemed to be in a deep sleep, so Bilbo decided not to wake him. He was about to crawl out of his paw when several bangs seem to echo throughout the corridor. The old hobbit froze but then quickly laid back down and closed his eyes when he heard two pairs of boots pounding against the stone floor.  
  
He heard Smaug rousing from his sleep, and could feel the dragon lift his head with a slight grumble. But Bilbo was surprised when he heard two pairs of voices arguing with one another.  
  
“Kili!” the voice hissed. “It’s my turn! You got to be on top last time, so it’s only fair that I get to be on top this time.”  
  
“Yes, but your beard scares everyone away.”  
  
“Of course...and your lack of one makes all the lasses laugh.”  
  
“FILI!”  
  
“What? It’s true,” Fili replied in a laugh, but then Bilbo heard him hiss in pain. Probably from the one named Kili hitting him.  
  
The banging sound echoed throughout the corridor once more, and this time Smaug spoke. “Iron Hills,” he grumbled. Bilbo peeked his eyes open to see Smaug yawning and displaying his ivory white teeth, but quickly closed them when he heard one of the figures approaching.  
  
“Good morning, Smaug! Wait...who’s that? How’d he get in’er?” The voice of Kili asked, and Bilbo tried not to wince.  
  
Smaug ignored Kili’s question and simply growled at him. Bilbo heard Kili scramble away and return to Fili. Being cautious, Bilbo lifted his head to see the two figures. From the back, the one named Kili had messy brown chocolate colored hair that was slightly tangled as if he had forgotten to brush it. But the other, Fili, looked more decent. His rich golden hair was decorated in several braids, including a lovely mustache. But what struck Bilbo the most was that he had the same striking blue eyes as Thorin.  
  
Thankfully the dwarves didn’t notice him, and Bilbo watched as Kili knelt to the ground and Fili jumped onto Kili’s shoulders with the ease and gracefulness of a feline. Kili grunted and straightened to full height while gripping Fili’s boots, while Fili himself was wrapping an olive green cloak around them. With the cloak around them they looked like a full grown man!  
  
“You’ve got to lose some weight, Fee...you weigh a ton,” Kili huffed as the cloak fell over his figure, only showing his feet below.  
  
“Now you know my pain when I have to carry you around,” Fili shot back as he pulled the cloak’s hood over his golden mane. The blonde dwarf lifted his hand to his face and pulled it away, and Bilbo gasped softly in amazement. Fili’s face seemed to have aged several years, and he was now sporting a thick, beautiful gold beard. And then the two disappeared around a mound of gold. What amazed Bilbo is how the two didn’t run into anything. Bilbo’s old hobbit ears soon heard the opening of a door and voices, so he raised himself into a sitting position. Smaug blinked down at the hobbit but said nothing.  
  
“Is Master Oakenshield here this evening?” Bilbo heard a gruff voice ask.  
  
“Sadly, he is out at the moment. But he should be back by sundown,” Fili replied politely.  
  
“An invitation from his lord Dain Ironfoot. He is to report to him immediately. His lordship requires that any and all who are loyal to him are to aid him in these troubling times. That is all,” the voice stated firmly.  
  
Bilbo crawled out of Smaug’s clawed paw, and the dragon lowered his giant head with a soft grumble. The hobbit reached out his hand and began to stroke the dragon’s large warm snout; surprised at how soft it was. Smaug seemed to purr in delight.  
  
“I can’t believe it’s come to this,” Bilbo muttered under his breath.  
  
Fili and Kili came around a mound of gold; Fili holding a piece of parchment, and Kili having their olive cloak tossed carelessly over his shoulder. The two dwarves stopped when their eyes laid upon the hobbit.  
  
“What do you think you’re doing here, halfling?” The blonde dwarf asked stiffly.  
  
The old hobbit only gave a charming smile in reply. “Smaug said I could come in,” he replied.  
  
“I did no such thing, Master Fili. The halfling simply wandered in here near the outskirts of the Shire,” Smaug snorted, rearing his head away from Bilbo’s wrinkled hands.  
  
“He’s from the Shire?” Kili asked, his mouth tugging downward in a frown. The brunette marched forward until he was standing a few feet in front of the old hobbit, his arms folded across his chest. “How do we know he isn’t a wizard?”  
  
“Do you honestly believe I would let a wizard in here and not burn him until he was ash?”  
  
There was another banging, and Kili turned to look back at Fili with an evil smile. “My turn. Must be a customer,” he teased.  
  
Fili groaned while tossing the parchment into a golden gauntlet before kneeling down. Kili sprinted over to his brother and pounced onto his shoulders, pulling the cloak over the two. Fili grunted in protest but didn’t complain about his brother’s weight. Kili did the same thing his brother did and brought his hand to his face and pulled it away. Kili seemed aged, but only had a fair amount of stubble on his face; no beard. The two quickly rounded the pile of gold and disappeared, and Bilbo heard the opening of the door.  
  
Curious, he scrambled after the two dwarves. He saw that a small stairway lead down to a door where Kili was leaning over a small dwarven girl with fiery red hair.  
  
“Hello,” Kili said brightly with a smile.  
  
The little dwarf blushed and began playing with her thumbs. “My mummy sent me here to pick up a spell,” she replied shyly.  
  
“Ah, alrighty then. Wait here and I’ll grab just what you need,” Kili said. He and Fili suddenly dashed up the stairs and down a hallway, leaving the small dwarven girl in the entrance. Bilbo simply blinked in amazement. They were thousands of feet in the air! How was a little girl suddenly out there, and where had this door come from? He made his way down the steps and stood beside the small girl, looking outside. Instead of looking out of the gates of Erebor, he was looking at a market full of dwarves.  
  
“It’s...It’s not Erebor...”  
  
“Excuse me, grandpa, but are you a wizard too?”  
  
Bilbo blinked in surprise but simply laughed at the little girl’s question. “Why yes, my dear. I’m the most frightening wizard of them all!”  
  
Suddenly Kili and Fili came stomping back in, and Kili narrowed his chocolate brown eyes at Bilbo in annoyance. But that look quickly faded as soon as his eyes landed on the small dwarven girl. He handed her a small brown packet with care.  
  
“Here you go, darling. Sprinkle some of this in your pony’s food and he’ll be as strong as an ox.”  
  
The small girl’s face suddenly turned as crimson as her hair. She offered Kili a small smile before turning around and dashing away into the streets. Bilbo only watched as Kili’s smile faded and he closed the door with a slam behind him, turning to look at Bilbo with a curious but guarded gaze.  
  
“Stop lying to our customers,” Kili huffed sternly, jumping down from his brother’s shoulders. Fili rolled his shoulders with a groan, fixing his many braids and mustache.  
  
“And what about you two? You’re both wearing a disguise, for Eru’s sake!” Bilbo argued, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
“Yes, but we have to,” Fili argued, his ice-blue eyes seeming to drain all the warmth from the room, “we are practicing our magic.”  
  
There was another heavy knock on the door, and Bilbo jumped. The two young dwarves merely sighed as Fili climbed atop Kili’s shoulders with the cloak.  
  
“Mirkwood,” Bilbo heard Smaug grumble.  
  
Once Fili had gotten situated with his cloak, Kili walked to the side of the door and Fili pulled a lever down to an emerald green gem. Bilbo noticed there were different gems: a diamond, emerald, sapphire, and a shiny black stone that seemed to be obsidian.  
  
Fili opened the door and Bilbo could see a rather tall elf -- yes, elf -- outside. Despite having feminine features, Bilbo could tell the elf was male. He had long light colored brown hair, with striking sea green eyes. The elf seemed tensed from head to toe and Bilbo could almost tell that the elf was trying very desperately not to scowl at Fili.  
  
“Good day. Would this perhaps be the residence of his lord Oakenshield?”  
  
“Indeed,” Fili greeted.  
  
“I have an invitation from his majesty, the King of the Woodland Realm, Thranduil. Please inform your master that all witches and wizards are to report to the palace immediately.” At the end of those words, the elf shoved a decorative piece of parchment into Fili’s hand before turning on his heel and strutting away. Bilbo blinked and rushed down the stairs, poking his head around the boys.  
  
Around them was a large, dark forest. The trees seemed twisted and curved, and light barely peeked through the trees. The elf was beside a large brown stallion, and he pulled himself onto it before jutting his heels into its sides. The stallion nickered and darted off into the dark, leaving nothing but the forest in front of them.  
  
“This is Mirkwood, isn’t it? The forest where the elves live?” Bilbo asked in awe and wonder.  
  
A firm hand grasped Bilbo’s arm and gently pulled him back. “Come on, Grandpa. Or Kili may accidently make you lose your nose.”  
  
The old hobbit reluctantly backed away until Fili released his arm. The two dwarves immediately separated, Fili tossing their cloak onto a hook while Kili stretched his back. Bilbo, on the other hand, pulled the lever down to the sapphire gem. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. When he did, he suddenly found himself looking out over clear blue skies. In front of him was a small meadow; plenty of room for someone to simply walk around and put out a chair to see everything around them. Getting excited, Bilbo closed the door and pulled the lever again, this time to the diamond.  
  
Opening the door eagerly, a smile formed on his old, withered face when he was introduced to the same dwarven market he had just seen earlier. Closing the door again with a chuckle, he went to grab the lever again when a voice stopped him.  
  
“Leave it alone, Grandpa. I’m getting angry.”  
  
Bilbo turned around to see a rather upset Kili. His nose was scrunched up in a frown, and his eyebrows seemed to be knitted together.  
  
“This is a magic door, isn’t it?” Bilbo asked eagerly. “Where does the black one go to?”  
  
Kili merely snorted and marched away mumbling, “Only Uncle Thorin knows where that one goes.”  
  
Bilbo blinked and hobbled up the stairs and followed after the brunette dwarf. He followed Kili into a large, decorative kitchen. The ceiling was very high and covered in white tile, with flowers etched into the tile. It would have been very lovely to see had there been no dust and dirt covering the floor and ceiling. And not to mention all of the piles of plates with rotting food scattered around the room.  
  
Fili was lounging in a chair, his feet on a table while he shoved a piece of bread into his mouth.  
  
“I’m starving,” Kili groaned, grabbing a large loaf of bread with a large wheel of cheese.  
  
“Won’t you need a cheese knife?” Bilbo pondered, frowning a bit.  
  
“Cheese knife?” Fili piped up with a grin. “He eats it by the block.”  
  
Bilbo sighed and shook his head. Apparently he would have to try and work on their manners, as well as cleaning this kitchen up. He marched over to a semi-clean table and began rummaging through the different foods until he found a platter with freshly cut slices of bacon, along with a basket of eggs sitting beside it. Ah, good.  
  
“Wouldn’t you boys like to have some bacon and eggs?”  
  
“Yeah,” Kili said between a mouthful of cheese and bread, “but my fire skills aren’t very good, and Smaug refuses to light a flame because apparently that degrades him as a dragon.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I can cook,” Bilbo replied brightly, grabbing a clean pan next to the wall and going to stand beside the fireplace.  
  
“It doesn’t matter if you can cook! Smaug won’t do it!”  
  
“Fili, would you be a dear and go fetch Smaug for me?”  
  
The blonde rolled his eyes but got to his feet, walking out of the kitchen to go get the giant dragon. Kili only stared at Bilbo as if he’d gone insane, or perhaps told Fili to march straight to his imminent death.  
  
About a minute or so later, Fili came back inside the kitchen and resumed his position back in his chair, while Smaug’s large head poked through the entrance. His golden eyes blinked lazily, and a small sliver of smoke was coming from his nostrils.  
  
“Yes, Master Hobbit?”  
  
“Would you be so kind as to light a fire in the fire place?”  
  
Smaug’s pupils became slits, and the dragon hissed angrily while baring his ivory white fangs at the poor old hobbit.  
  
“I do not help others in the assistance of cooking! I am a mighty fire drake, and I will not be humiliated further by these dwarves using me as a cooking utensil!”  
  
A sly smile formed on Bilbo’s face. “Ah, alright then...maybe I should tell Thorin about our little bargain then.”  
  
The crimson dragon gave a mighty growl. Bilbo trembled a bit, but didn’t let his face show any sign of fear. “I should have eaten you when you first walked in,” Smaug huffed. A second later, the dragon released a small stream of fire slip past his jaws and into the fireplace. Once Smaug saw that the fireplace was properly lit, he closed his jaws and rested his head on the floor, glaring at the old hobbit.  
  
Fili and Kili merely gawked at Bilbo. He had just made the mighty Smaug light a fire!  
  
“That’s right, that’s a very good dragon,” Bilbo cooed in praise, gently patting Smaug’s snout as he placed a few slices of bacon into the pan and set it over the fire. The sound of sizzling bacon filled the air, and the young dwarves could feel their stomachs rumbling.  
  
“Here is another curse, Master Hobbit: may all of your bacon burn,” Smaug grumbled angrily. The boys merely laughed.  
  
“Smaug actually does what he says,” Fili marveled with a smile.  
  
“Boys, I do believe I would like some tea too. Would one of you mind fetching me a kettle?”  
  
“Of course!” The boys chimed in unison, tumbling over each other to find one of the kettles.  
  
The fire drake merely huffed at the dwarves’ behavior but said nothing. This hobbit really was an interesting creature.  
  
The sound of footsteps filled the hall outside, but Bilbo kept his head ducked down and concentrated on cooking as he heard Kili run to the doorway.  
  
“Uncle! It’s good to see you. We’ve had two messengers today, and you must report to both kingdoms as soon as you are able.”  
  
Bilbo only had time to lift his head as a shadow loomed over him, and his breath caught in his throat when he met a very familiar gaze. Ice-blue eyes peered into hazel. Thorin looked exactly as he had a few days ago. His raven black hair running down his shoulders like dark liquid, a broad and slightly intimidating figure. But instead of having that almost relaxed and charming aura, Thorin now wore a scowl on his handsome features. A sword was strapped to his side, and he wore a thick, heavy coat. He glanced over Bilbo a few times before turning to look over at Smaug.  
  
“What’s this, Smaug? You never seem to enjoy lighting a fire for the boys...”  
  
“I was bullied into doing the task, Thorin.”  
  
The raven-haired dwarf raised a thick eyebrow with a ghost of a smirk. “Not just anyone can do that...And what is your name, Master Hobbit?” Thorin questioned.  
  
Bilbo’s heart skipped a beat for a moment as his tongue fumbled about in his mouth to try and find the right words. “O-Oh, my name is Bilbo Baggins, but you may call me Grandpa Bilbo. I just started work today.”  
  
Thorin nodded and gently took the frying pan from Bilbo’s withered hands, taking his place before the fire. “Grab two more slices of bacon, and six more of those eggs,” Thorin said in a deep, yet soft voice. Bilbo blinked and then reached for the eggs, giving them to Thorin one by one. The dwarf would gently crack the egg on the side of the wall, then pour the insides into the frying pan; tossing the shells into the fire.  
  
“Who hired you to clean?” Thorin asked, keeping his eyes on the fire.  
  
“The boys did,” Bilbo lied. “Kili was especially disgusted by how utterly filthy it was in here.”  
  
“Mmmm,” Thorin mused, turning away with the pan. “Fili! Get some plates.”  
  
“Alright, Uncle.”  
  
“Wait a moment!” Smaug growled, and Bilbo’s head swiveled towards the dragon, but the dwarves completely ignored the fire drake. “You are all going to eat while I do all the work?!”  
  
Feeling immensely bad for the dragon, Bilbo searched for a large chunk of meat to offer the dragon. Thankfully an uncooked turkey lay under a silver platter beside a basket of onions. Grabbing the turkey by the legs, he carried it over to the large dragon. Smaug blinked in surprise and released a rumble from his throat, opening his jaws and taking the turkey into his mouth as careful as a small kitten. The hobbit smiled and gently stroked the dragon’s snout before turning to go join the dwarves at the table.  
  
Thorin was dumping out eggs and bacon onto the plates, while Fili got up and pulled a chair out from the table in an offering. Bilbo nodded with a thankful smile and took a seat while Fili scooted him closer to the table, leaving himself to take his own seat once more. Kili set a cup in front of him and poured him a small cup of tea while Bilbo dusted off a few bits of dirt and dust. A plate covered with eggs and bacon was pushed in front of him.  
  
A hand full of spoons and a fork was suddenly held in front of him. Bilbo blinked several times in confusion, and looked up at Kili who had a goofy smile on his face. A very goofy puppy.  
  
“You can only pick one because the rest are dirty,” Kili advised.  
  
Sighing, Bilbo took one of the spoons and began to clean it off with the bottom hem of his shirt. “It appears I have my work cut out for me,” he muttered.  
  
Thorin began cutting a fresh loaf of bread and handing it out to his nephews, along with Bilbo. “Well,” Thorin grumbled. “Enjoy.”  
  
“Yay!” Kili chimed, digging into his food like a starved dog. Fili had a bit more manners, but he was shoving his food down his throat just as fast as his brother. Only Thorin seemed to be the one with any real manners in the mountain besides Bilbo himself.  
  
“Even the manners need to be worked on in this mountain,” Bilbo huffed, taking a bite of bacon.  
  
“Master Baggins,” Thorin said sternly.  
  
Bilbo’s eyes shot up to meet Thorin’s, and he felt his face growing intensely hot. “Yes?” He replied shyly.  
  
“What is it that you have hidden in your coat pocket?” He asked, but there was a slight edge to his voice.  
  
The hobbit frowned. He never remembered putting anything into his pocket, but he reached his hand down into it anyway. He was surprised when he found what felt like a card sitting there. He pulled it out and admired the red parchment in his hand. “What is this?” Bilbo breathed.  
  
“May I see it?” Thorin asked while reaching out his hand. Bilbo happily reached his hand out to offer it to Thorin, but as soon as the paper touched his fingers, a small spark filled the air and Bilbo dropped it onto the table. Immediately the card dissolved to nothing, and instead strange symbols were left in its stead.  
  
Fili and Kili, who had stopped eating, both stared at the marks in both wonder and fear.  
  
“Khuzdul,” Fili whispered.  
  
“Uncle, can you read it?”  
  
“I’ve seen this type of magic before,” Thorin growled, gritting his teeth. “’You, oh heartless thief who stole my fortune, your heart will soon be mine and I will take back what you have greedily taken’...” Without a word, Thorin reached out his hand to place it over the marks. His hair seemed to gently flow around his face as he swiped his hand across the marks. When his hand left the table, the marks were gone.  
  
“It’s gone,” Kili said in amazement.  
  
“It may be gone, nephew, but the spell is still there…Continue your meal.”  
  
Thorin grabbed his plate and walked over to Smaug. The dragon happily opened his jaws as Thorin dumped his breakfast into his mouth. “Smaug, move the mountain sixty miles to the west. And prepare hot water for my bath,” he said as he stormed away.  
  
“Of course, like moving the mountain isn’t hard enough,” Smaug grumbled as he swallowed his food.  
  
Frowning, Fili turned his head and narrowed his eyes at the hobbit. “Master Baggins, you aren’t working for the Wizard of the Waste, are you?”  
  
Bilbo’s face grew hot, and his chest seized up at the memory of that fat man. His withered old hand balled into fists. “Are you kidding me?!” Bilbo yelled. “I would never work for that Wizard!! He was the one who--” Bilbo tried to open his mouth, but every time he tried to say the words his tongue would curl inside his mouth and his lips would seal themselves shut. In anger, Bilbo slammed his fists against the table while the boys pulled their plates away to keep their breakfast safe from the hobbit’s wrath.  
  
“If I ever get my hand on that wizard, I’m going to wring his fat neck!!” Bilbo looked over at the boys with a furious expression. “Finish your breakfast,” he hissed while digging back into his own with a renewed sense of energy. The boys merely stared in shock.


	4. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo gets somewhere to settle down in inside Erebor thanks to the terrible two, and has a slight accident with Thorin and Smaug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is absolutely no excuse for this being late. But, I decided to cut this chapter in half since I know you all have been waiting desperately for a new chapter. The 6th chapter might be totally something out of my imagination, mainly because I think Thorin and Bilbo need a little more interaction. But I promise you I WILL be sticking to the story-line. Enjoy! And I'd like to thank my lovely editor ;)

“This place is absolutely _filthy,_ ” Bilbo huffed under his breath, scrubbing down a counter with a wet rag. The once dirt covered kitchen was actually, for once, looking clean. 

The hobbit had already decided that once this kitchen was done, he would begin cleaning other areas that were in dire need of a good scrubbing. Fili and Kili were actually kind enough to help him clean around the kitchen: putting food in cabinets, meats in an ice-box along with a few glasses of wine. Bilbo could tell this would probably take a good week or so to get the whole place looking actually decent, but for the moment its current condition would suffice. 

“Well, in our defense Master Boggins, we haven’t exactly cleaned this place in...in...” 

Bilbo frowned and began wiping down the counter with a bit more energy before slapping his rag back down onto the counter before turning on the two dwarves with a frown. “No excuses. The way all of you have taken care of your home is pitiful!”

The two young dwarves shifted in their boots before glancing at each other. At least they had the decency to look embarrassed. 

Sighing, the old hobbit wiped his hands onto his pants. “Well, I am done cleaning the kitchen for now…I believe all three of us are in need of a small break.”

“Finally!” Kili chimed happily, plopping himself down into a chair. “We’ve been cleaning ever since breakfast.” 

“You wouldn’t have had to clean at all if you hadn’t left the place in such a filthy mess in the first place,” Bilbo pointed out. 

“He has a point,” Fili muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the table. 

Bilbo simply smiled at them both. “Well, cleaning matters aside…As comfortable as it was sleeping with Smaug, I would like to have a bed of sorts. If there are any blankets left over, might I have one?” 

“Oh! You can have a room, if you wish. Erebor has plenty of them,” Kili said, leaning forward. “Fee and I live down here on the main floor of the mountain, since we normally have to deal with the customers while Thorin is up in his study on the main floor near the top. But anyway, any room ya want, Mister Boggins.”

“Baggins,” Bilbo corrected. 

“Sorry,” Kili muttered.

Shaking his head, Fili walked forward and placed a small hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. “Would you like me to show you around?” 

“Oh! Yes, please,” Bilbo replied, getting to his feet. And it was then Bilbo noticed that some of his former strength was returning to him. He was still sore in his joints, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been a few days ago. The hobbit also noted that Fili was being slightly kinder to him than he had been previously when they met. 

“Oi! Wait for me!” Kili called while scrambling after the two.

Fili and Kili were very kind hosts. They took Bilbo all through the grand halls of Erebor, and the small hobbit couldn’t help but admire the architecture and designs of the stone of the mountain. It truly was a sight to behold. Every now and then the floor would shake underneath them, and Bilbo would cling to the dwarfs’ arms while they merely laughed at the hobbit’s reaction. 

“It’s just Smaug rolling around in the gold,” Fili chuckled, patting the hobbit lightly on the back reassuringly. 

“Fee! What about that room over there?” Kili asked while pointing to a very large set of doors encrusted with emeralds. 

“Oh, yes. That would suit you just fine, Master Baggins,” Fili agreed while dragging Bilbo behind him. 

Spluttering, Bilbo gawked at the doors. “Th-that room? But those doors are covered in emeralds! That looks like it’s a room fit for a king, or someone of noble birth.”

“It’s fine, Bilbo, really. I think you’ll like it once you see the inside,” Fili said with a wink, while Kili began pushing the doors open. 

_Someone save me from the stubbornness of dwarves,_ Bilbo thought. 

When they walked inside, Bilbo suddenly found that…Fili had been absolutely right. 

“ _Oh,_ ” Bilbo breathed, walking forward and letting his eyes scan around the room in absolute wonder. The ceiling was high, and from it hung a lovely chandelier with emeralds and diamonds. The furniture was covered in the designs he had seen out in the halls while walking with the two brothers, and it looked so comfortable he just wanted to plop down into one of the seats and just sit there for a long while. A rather large writing desk was tucked into a corner. The wood was dark and smooth, and had carvings of different pictures running up the legs. Bilbo made a mental note to ask the brothers if maybe he could have a quill and parchment to write on in his spare time when he wasn’t cleaning. But the thing that caught the hobbit’s attention was the enormous bed near the back of the room.

Walking forward, Bilbo ran his fingers over one of the blankets and released a small sigh. It was so soft…it almost felt like silk. It possibly _was_ made of silk. There were also a couple of fur blankets near the foot of the bed, they seem almost as soft as the silk. Bilbo loved the bed, he truly did, but he simply could not get over the fact of how _large_ the bed was! _It could easily fit six other people into it_ , Bilbo thought to himself. The hobbit was drawn back to reality by one of the dwarves.

“Do you like it, Mister Boggins?” Kili asked anxiously, eyes searching over the old hobbit’s face.

Bilbo lifted his head and gave a small smile towards the two brothers. “It’s lovely…thank you. But really, I do not need anything this fancy.”

“Think nothing of it,” Fili replied. “Uncle would probably insist upon it. He wouldn’t want you simply lying about with the dragon.” 

Looking away with a blush, Bilbo ran a hand through his white curls. “Ah…well, I do believe we’ve wasted enough time wandering through Erebor trying to find myself a room. If your kitchen was an absolute mess, I have no doubts in my mind that your rooms are probably a pig-sty. Perhaps I should clean those too?”

A look of sheer horror spread across the boys’ faces. “Cl-clean our rooms?” They asked in unison. 

“Of course…So anything you don’t want me to clean or throw out, I’d suggest you go hide it now.” Bilbo chuckled as they both paled. 

Suddenly both boys were scrambling over each other to get to the door, but Kili was the one to successfully make it out before they both disappeared. Until Fili poked his head back in. “Save my room for last, okay?!” And suddenly he disappeared again. All Bilbo could do was laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. 

And so Bilbo was back to cleaning again, but instead of going straight to Fili and Kili’s room he decided he would straighten things up down where Smaug was resting. He knew he would never be able to straighten the whole place himself, but he was going to make sure Smaug helped out in the cleaning somewhat. 

The fire-drake had grumbled and groaned about being woken from his slumber, but he did as the hobbit asked. Smaug would use either his large claws or tail to push away mountains of gold coins or other precious items, forming a small pathway to walk; Bilbo would take the parts that Smaug missed and shove them back where they belong. Now there was only one thing left to clean before moving on to the boys’ rooms. 

“Smaug,” Bilbo called, “could you come closer for a moment?” 

Releasing a small huff of steam from his nostrils, the crimson dragon crawled over to the small hobbit. Bilbo’s heart began to beat painfully in his chest every time he saw just how large the dragon truly was, but he knew that Smaug would never intentionally harm him…Would he? 

“What is it you want, hobbit?” Smaug grumbled.

“Could you lower your chest a bit?” 

The dragon tilted its head to the side in slight confusion, but slowly lowered his chest down to the ground. Walking forward, Bilbo reached a hand out to graze over the beautiful gleaming stone that rested in Smaug’s breast. The stone was cool to the touch and almost felt like glass. Carefully, he grasped the stone with both hands and gave a harsh tug: the stone came free. Smaug released something like a hiss and immediately recoiled. 

“I – what did you did do?!” Smaug growled, one of his claws scraping at the empty gap in his chest. 

“Oh, calm down. I was just wanting to clean this for you.” 

Without a word, Bilbo began wiping away at the dirt and grime that was covered on the sides of the lovely gem in his hands. He paid no mind to the loud whimpers and groans Smaug was making behind him. 

“What on earth is the matter – Smaug?” 

Bilbo began to pale a bit slightly at the sight of the dragon. Smaug had collapsed against the floor, his scaled body writhing on the stone floor, eyes wide while he clawed almost desperately at the place where the gem had sat. Bilbo didn’t know what to do. He didn’t dare get close to the dragon in fear that Smaug would try to eat him or accidently claw him. 

Suddenly a dark blur was beside the old hobbit and snatched the gem from his hands, rushing towards the great fire-drake. He avoided Smaug’s talons with ease, when he reached Smaug’s breast, he slammed the gem back into its proper resting place. Immediately Smaug settled down. His body grew still except for the deep breathing he gave. And then Bilbo was able to make out the dark shape. Thorin. Oh no, no no no…

After Smaug had regained his composure, he moved his head forward to face Thorin. The raven-haired dwarf stood without fear as the fire-drake parted his powerful maw, revealing large ivory teeth. 

At first Bilbo thought Smaug was going to possibly shoot a large stream of fire out upon Thorin and turn him into nothing more than a pile of ash, but what Smaug did was completely different. Bright red embers flew from the back of Smaug’s throat before flying out around Thorin, encircling him in a small tornado of fire. They danced around him for several moments before finally fading to nothing in the air. Huffing, Smaug pulled himself away and crawled away into the small mountains of gold, leaving only Bilbo and Thorin out in the small pathway.

The dark-haired dwarf turned on the old hobbit with cold eyes and a grim expression, his hands curled into fists. He marched forward until he stood no more than a few inches from the old hobbit, giving him a stern glare. 

“You would do well to remember, Master Baggins,” Thorin said in a low growl, “that it is not welcomed under this mountain to antagonize the dragon. Do not touch that stone again.” 

And with that, Thorin strutted around a corner to where Bilbo knew lead to the door. And sure enough he head it open and close with a small ‘click’.

Bilbo felt his face grow hot and tears burn in his eyes. He didn’t know, he didn’t mean to… 

“Bilbo! What did you do now?” Gasped an exasperated Kili who came sliding around a corner. 

The old hobbit was about to answer when he was suddenly interrupted by Smaug.

“He almost killed me!” Smaug growled from somewhere in the treasure mounds. Bilbo looked up to see one of Smaug’s golden eyes glaring at him angrily. 

“The Arkenstone keeps the bond between Thorin and I…and if I die, Thorin will die as well!” 

Wiping his eyes and storming past Kili, Bilbo grabbed a broom he had rested against a small pile of gold. He wouldn’t hear any more of the topic, especially after how Thorin had glared at him. This was not the same dwarf who had saved him from bandits and shadow wolves. No, maybe the rumors about Thorin were true. 

“Stop whining,” Bilbo snapped back at the dragon. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I didn’t know that taking that stone from your chest would do that. Now quit bothering me, I have a job to do.” 

As Bilbo made his way toward one of the stairs to lead himself to the boys’ room, Kili was suddenly in front of him blocking his path. 

“Wait! I’m not done yet!” The brunette dwarf whined. 

“Then I suggest you finish up, because your room is next as soon as I’m finished with the bathrooms,” Bilbo said with a huff. 

Kili paled and yelped before bolting up the stairs. Bilbo only chuckled at the boy’s reaction. “These little outbursts seem to be giving me a bit of energy,” the hobbit said to himself. 

 

While the hobbit made his way through the corridor on which Fili and Kili lived on, he couldn’t help but notice that even the _hallways_ were a mess as well. _Eru bless my soul,_ Bilbo thought to himself as he began sweeping dust and dirt into a pile. When he reached the bathroom, he pulled open the door but then froze as a putrid smell filled his nose. Moaning, Bilbo covered his nose with his hand and peered inside the large bathroom. Towels and bottles were thrown carelessly about onto the floor, and only Eru knows what that strange gooey liquid was on the wall. Not to mention there was darky, dirty water still lingering in the large square tub. 

And then there was the toilet in general. The smell that had filled Bilbo’s nose was definitely coming from there. He was surprised if the dwarves hadn’t completely demolished the plumbing. Wincing, Bilbo made his way inside and set down his broom and rags. The question now was where to start? Perhaps he could make the boys help him with this part. Maybe make Kili scrub the toilet, and Fili get in the tub and--…what was that? 

Bilbo hadn’t noticed it at first, but now he was staring at a small rectangular window that was filling the room with light. He hadn’t really been outside since he entered the mountain, but now that he saw clouds passing by through the window a sudden urge came over the old hobbit. He felt like a bird being trapped in a cage, and he suddenly wanted fresh air running through his lungs again, to feel the breeze against his skin. Rushing forward, Bilbo pushed the window open. A small moan escaped past his lips when cool, fresh air washed over his face and through his wispy white curls. 

Looking out, it was like he was able to see all of Arda below him. The green meadows and forests seemed absolutely endless before his eyes. Reaching his hand out, he let his fingers graze through a small wisp of a cloud. He pulled his hand back only to find it completely soaked. 

 “Incredible!” Bilbo gasped in a small laugh. “Smaug!”

 Turning, Bilbo ran out of the bathroom as fast as his legs would carry him through the halls and down the stairs until he reached the treasure room where Smaug was resting.

 “Smaug!” Bilbo called, desperately looking for the crimson colored fire-drake. “Are you the one moving the mountain?” 

 “Of course I am, Master Hobbit. I thought we discussed—”

 “I am immensely impressed! You are a first class fire-drake; I like your spark!” Bilbo called before running back up the stairs. Below, Bilbo could hear Smaug release a roar of pride that seemed to echo throughout all of Erebor. 

 While Bilbo ran through the halls, he passed Fili’s room, where the blonde-headed dwarf was carrying a load of items in his arms. He paled when he saw the old hobbit running in his direction.

 “Not ready, not ready!” Fili squawked before slamming his door shut. 

 All the hobbit could do was smile and shake his head, feeling his heart flutter when suddenly he saw another door that had a window viewing into outside. Eagerly, withered hands grasped at the handle and gave it a small tug, gasping when a gush of wind washed over his whole form. Suddenly he found himself standing out onto a large balcony, gazing down to the earth below. The sight simply took his breath away. He could see the mountains in the distance, with clouds covering their slopes and lakes glittering underneath the sun. 

 He was so lost in the beauty before him that he almost didn’t notice that Fili and Kili were standing on either side of him. 

 “It’s beautiful,” Bilbo breathed, not feeling so old. 

 “Yeah, it is,” Kili agreed with a slight nod before asking, “What is _that_?”

 Bilbo and Fili both looked down to see a rather large branch stuck between two boulders near the balcony. “How did that stick get all the way up here?” Fili wondered aloud.

 Walking forward, Bilbo carefully pressed against the side of the balcony and gave a small tug before the branch came loose. Pulling it up the hobbit almost laughed while the dwarves behind him just stared in utter confusion. 

 “A scarecrow?” Fili muttered.

 “Mhm. He’s been following me about ever since I left the Shire. A stubborn ole’ thing, if you ask me. I’ve been calling him Corn-Head. Somehow the silly thing always manages to get stuck upside down in odd places,” Bilbo laughed. 

 Corn-Head’s smile only seemed to widen before coming to life and jumping away onto some nearby rocks, its flimsy green shirt waving gently in the wind. The scarecrow gave a small jump of happiness, then a twirl while the arrows made a whizzing sound against the wind. 

 “The silly thing keeps following me everywhere, and I don’t exactly know why. It seems it’s taken a liking to me and just wants to be by my side.”

 Frowning, Kili walked forward and inclined his head a bit to look down into the old hobbit’s face. “Mister Boggins, are you _sure_ you’re not a wizard?” 

 Giving a wide smile and puffing out his chest, Bilbo replied, “Ah, yes, I am the most _fearsome_ wizard of them all: the kind that cleans.”


End file.
